new year resolutions

Alright, so I've been doing this blogging thing for a couple of months now. I think I am getting the hang of it. (Kinda.)

Expect these changes in the new year!

Every day, I hope to post the Stu-pic of the Day. Just me capturing the city as I go by. Expect that to launch New Year's Day.

Every week or two, I will have an ad up that is ridiculous and I will get you, my friends, to help me poke fun at them. I think blogs are boring in their uni-directional, so get ready to get harassed! I hope to get the first Ad Panel up by January 14, 2008.

Every 3 to 4 weeks, I will post a non-fiction essay called Fractured in the vein of David Sedaris, or maybe what a Sex and the City column might look like if in the paper (except not about sex, well, maybe).

That plus the regularly goofy blogs I post and my work on Torontoist should give you about as much of me as you can stomach (swallow?)... no?

Happy New Year's!

a holiday greeting

snow and the city

According to the Weather Network, there will be light snow for Christmas Eve! That's my idea of a Christmas snowfall. It allows me to have a cup of hot gin chocolate and look pensively out into the street. It's really quite an Oscar-worthy look. Enjoy the holidays everyone!

this is gross

In addition to the graphic television ads, the WSIB has these gross internet ads as well. I understand the want to shock people into caring, but it starts a risky precedent. Why not show soldiers blown up then for war ads, or have a man beat his wife into a pulp for an abuse ad, or worse, a re-enactment of a rape? At some point, the context gets taken away and it becomes sensational. Take a look at the ad and see if you can get any meaning behind it? It seems more like a horror movie screenshot. And ew. Ew. Ew. Ew.

christmas pet-peeves

It's almost Christmas and yet it doesn't feel like it at all. As a friend of mine said, we may be at the age where Christmas won't be important until we have kids. (So does that means Christmas by proxy also becomes less important for our parents? Yikes!) What it also means is that my inner grinch/grouch (not to be compared with the hotness of Ginch Gonch) gets released a whole lot sooner. Here are my top three peeves of the season:

1. Too many holiday commercials.
What better way to contaminate the holiday than with constant reminders to buy buy buy and to equate material things with happiness. (See what baby Jesus would have got if he were born this year.) Also, the relentless onslaught of too saccharine commercials underlines the fact that the holidays can be a sad, frustrating and lonely time for many. Blech. And then, the relentless boxing day, no, week, no, month commercials. Wake me in February.

2. Trying to buy a single item and having to break through the crowds and waiting forever to get checked out.
Now that everywhere sells Christmas items, nowhere is safe for a quick purchase. I wish people would spend the time they shopped on being with their loved ones instead. As for me, I won't shop during this time unless it's early in the morning or late at night just to avoid the crowds. I feel like I'm at freaking Disney World and needing to get there first.

(I'm get very anti-gift. I can't believe I am shilling out hundreds and hundreds of dollars on items no one actually needs. Let's have dessert instead. Honestly. Or save what you would spend on gifts into a travel fund and we'll do that instead.)

3. I hate when people sing "Have Yourself a Merry Christmas" like it's their birthday. It's a bittersweet melancholic song. (As is "I'll Be Home For Christmas" - note the final line: if only in my mind.) I want to pull my hair out when the whole meaning of the song is ignored.

Ah, that's just a taste of what I have right now. What are your Christmas pet-peeves?

what to give baby jesus?

If Jesus was born this year, what would the carols record as the gifts given to him? I'd guess a Wii, an iPod and maybe a Blackberry, because pinning is a much easier way to send prayers!

calling out ew.com

What strike, asks Entertainment Weekly? If you go onto their website or read their print issue, there are references to the strike, but rarely any information regarding the strike itself. (What's hot? On the cover on a recent issue: "Harry Potter DVD Extras Exclusive." What's next? Advance copy of trailers previews on "Game Plan" DVD!) It's unbelievable that a magazine that prides itself on giving readers the scoop on media can't manage to devote more than a single article of original research to the negotiations of a historic strike. (Instead, they run a lot of Associated Press stuff or cull their info from Variety and Hollywood Reporter.) Are they waiting for the next strike in 20 years to cover? (To their credit, they had one article back when the strike started that sided with the writers, but after that, nada. And yet, they can cover the Hills until the end of time.)

Or maybe it's the cash talking. EW is supported by ads for films, books and television and upsetting the hand that bites them would be so unentertaining. Better to pretend no strike is going on by reviewing the reality-tv crap on the air, bringing news of movies that might happen and basically keep readers blissfully unaware that there's anything as messy as a strike going on. If you read their bulletin boards, people are at arms that writers make millions and that the writers must be spoiled. Uh, corporations make billions and executives are so less spoiled. (No, I'll take the BMW today. Don't wanna look too flashy.) Does EW have a comprehensive look at the contracts. Nope. Maybe a profile of Nikki Finke and the good work she's doing on the strike? Nope. Anything to show that they side with the writers who provide the content they review and cover? Nope.

Instead, the magazine slyly faults the writers strike for cancellations, delays and postponements, without trying to figure out who's right or wrong. It's odd for a magazine of such reach to have no perspective whatsoever. Even better, go to the site and the first thing you'll see is an ad for NBC telling readers to go to their website to see free streaming TV episodes, you know, the same ones that don't bring that much revenue to NBC and thus are worth not paying writers for. Because companies ALWAYS advertise for streams of revenue that don't exist.

Anyhow, I emailed EW and they didn't reply. As much as I like some of their writers, I can't keep subscribing to the magazine knowing their idea of news is reporting the Tila Tequila spin-off show. Brava.

dave, jay and conan to return, toronto still has na-da

So, Dave, Jay and Conan are set to return and that means the reruns of the talk shows will finally stop. As some predict, the comedians can do more damage on-air, especially with Dave Letterman having his writers with him and Jay Leno being unhappy over his contract.

And we still have no one on at nights. One bonus: having no one means not having Carson Daly! Whee!

tim's worst coffee around?

People go apeshit over Tim's. Why? One answer: 18% cream. (Or is it 30%.) If you've ever had Tim's with milk, you'll know that it is bitter, acidic and thin tasting. I'm not really sure why people love it, except that it's cheap and it's available. (Insert easy joke here.)

As much as I've never been a Tim's fan (or a real hater of it, I say drink what you want to drink), I always figured it'd be better than McDonald's coffee, because Tim's is known for coffee and donuts, right? And McD's is known for fries that never get mouldy and Big Macs. Still, I tried their coffee the other day and it is very similar to Tim's but it's slightly richer and less acidic. Who knew?

So, if I was to rank coffees, it would go:

Starbucks (I like West Coast coffee, shoot me!)
Urbana Coffee/Cafe Supreme (tie)
Lettieri
Second Cup
Timothy's
McDonald's
Tim Hortons

Again, who knew?!

bad trend... creepy mustaches

Bad Shia. Bad Jonathan. Where are the accompanying mullet and can of 50?

bell's make-good to blackberry

I cannot wait for the wireless spectrum to get blasted open. I can see the benefit for telecoms to drag their feet as long as possible. Eventually, they'll have to lower data plans and introduce fairer terms to customers, but why any sooner than necessary? Customers have nowhere else to go and won't stop using their mobiles.

Bell has introduced for Blackberries all you can email and Blackberry message for $15 a month. No internet is provided because god forbid people try to use the technical advancements on their phones. I've heard of people having cell phone bills in the hundreds of dollars a month. That is insane! Honestly, if my bill ever climbs that high, I'm getting a pager and you can all reach me that way.

wtf is charlotte wearing in the movie?

So, I'm loving the orchestral version of the Sex and the City theme (which my friend Pearl so excellently made note of) and have been running the trailer on loop. My eyes are super happy until one scene when it looks like the girls were bathed in vat of 80's crap. What the hell is Charlotte wearing? Is she a gangsta? A Puerto Rican dancer? What is going on?!

(Haven't seen the trailer? Find it here.)

new torontoist post up!

All your drunkards have no excuse to drive home impaired anymore. Well, if you party in the Distillery District anyhow. Read about a new program that sends volunteers to drive your car and your lush ass home HERE.

margot at the wedding... at the cumberland

Nicole Kidman has had some bad luck. Since "The Hours," she's been hard-pressed to find any decent reviews (read: Birth, Bewitched, Stepford Wives), and "Golden Compass" just bombed relative to expectations.

If you've fallen out of love with her, see "Margot At The Wedding" and remind yourself that this woman can act. From the filmmaker who made "Squid and the Whale," this characters in this film are self-absorbed, abrasive and messy. Just like real life. "Margot" doesn't bother to fit into the pat, bland rules most films use to endear you.

I was supposed to catch "Golden Compass" with a friend, and it was an odd juxtaposition to instead watch "Margot" alone. I got caught up in their joys, their angers, their selfishness in a way that watching a film with a friend cannot.

The film is about two estranged sisters, Margot and Pauline, reconciling when Margot attends Pauline's wedding. Watching them bicker and spill each other's secrets as emotional weaponry, the intensity of it all made me think and wonder about the games people play with one another, either to settle old scores, to compensate for past pains, or to shield oneself from allowing people in. Although I wouldn't want to experience it, it is a different, more vivid life, one that is free from the banal Facebook-ization of friendship. (The irony of "pokes" is that they rarely makea any contact or actual impact.)

The movie is not for everyone. Sunshine and lollipops can be found elsewhere. This film is instead like a blast of winter. And, in some instances, standing in the bitter winter wind can be a pleasant, temporary experience.

project runway canada... best canadian reality tv show ever?

Project Runway has always stood over other reality shows because of its mix of naturally flamboyant characters, visual product and logical challenges. (Ahem, unlike the faux models of Top Model, the idiots who couldn't sell rice to the Chinese on the Apprentice or the annoying, air-wasting fembots of the Bachelor.) But who would have thought the Canadian version would be so good? While Canadian updates don't always work for reality shows, Project Runway Canada might be the best reality show yet.

First, it showcases Canadian fashion talent, which brings something new to audiences at home, and even better, the talent is stronger than the American sibling. Second, it's brutally honest. From Iman's snippy, but true comments to smart, funny guest judges like the designers of Heatherette and diva-to-the-max Measha Brueggergosman, the show hass a clear directive and personality missing from too many shows. (Canadian 5th graders are cute, but zzzzzz.) Third, the eliminations are surprising, but inevitable. Unlike Top Model, which often forces story arcs onto contestants to justify their eliminations, ousted PRC contestants are usually the right ones to go. However, how they get to their disastrous designs is surprising and fresh.

I wasn't really expecting much out of this series considering the terrible print ads. However, I'm hooked. You should be too. Catch the episodes online here.

did iman study at the tyra school... of... dramatic... pausing

I know I'm late watching Project Runway Canada, but here's hoping Iman's speaking rhythms... improve... over the course... of... the... next few... episodes. The pauses are random, and when I close my eyes, I can see Tyra's weird serious-eyes. That first elimination was... oh... so anti-... climactic. Or maybe I just don't measure up?

rohit's music showcase, edition two

Here are some non-Toronto bands that Rohit suggests. I love his choices because they're all dramatic and film-esque. Apparat is a German electronic musician (er, electronic music, not like, he's a robot - I think...?) and Para One are on Ed Banger records, home of JUSTICE. I've scoured some samples for you all. Enjoy!

Apparat "You Don't Know Me"



Para One "F.U.D.G.E."

victor's finds, part III

Oh, the ongoing gems Vic picks up from Youtube. For fans of karaoke and Bollywood and you and me and everyone we know (poo? never mind.):



What are they really singing? Click here to find out. Now if only someone could teach me to dance like that.

movie magic: sex and the city

Thanks to Deadline Hollywood Daily (isn't Nikki Finke the best source ever?) for this heads up on the new Sex and the City film teaser. Hot!



How much have I missed these girls women?

when it rains it pours

More video game news. At Massey Hall, they are playing a concert of video game music. Laugh, do you? Everyone knows the themes to Mario, Zelda, Sonic... which is more than you can say for some of the songs that came out this year. Anyhoo, I can't go, but alas.

street fighter IV?!

Oh lordy, the nostalgia spending hours on Street Fighter II. This new pic looks amazing and let's just say that this is to many what the Spice Girls reunion is. Heavenly. Full story here.

mcdonald's post up

You can catch my new post at Torontoist on the upcoming sale of land to McDonald's here.

Meanwhile, here's a by-the-numbers look at the deal.

$1,250 – Monthly rent paid by McDonald's for the Bloor and Avenue location.

$1,100 – Average monthly rent for a two-bedroom apartment in the city.

January 18, 2008 – Date when the city wants to finalize the sale.

December 2070 – Year when McDonald's lease ends.

$2.40 – Cost of rent per square foot for Bloor and Avenue McDonald's .

$200.00 – Average cost of rent per square foot elsewhere on high-end Bloor.

510 – Percent of inflation rise in Toronto since 1971.

0 – Percent in rent increase, thanks to the lease lacking a provision for inflationary adjustments.

$6,400 - Approximate rent per month adjusting for inflation

$16,500 - Rent per month suggested by the city during lease renegotiations-- that McDonald's is rejecting.

$1.2M – Approximate amount city has lost in rent from not having a provision for inflation.

$3.38M – Original asking price from Toronto for Bloor and Avenue property.

$5M – Amount neighbouring developer, Sheldon Esbin, would pay "http://www.thestar.com/article/281572">without even thinking about it."

50 – Percent of rise in value Toronto would get if McDonald's resells the land within 10 years.

0 - Percent Toronto would get if McDonald's resells after 10 years.

$1.39 - Cost of Junior Chicken sandwich without tax.

863,309 - Approximate number of Junior Chicken sandwiches McDonald's could buy per year by charging market-price rents if it owns the land.

vintage ad cures all

A great old ad. Remember when we still had faith in medicine?

sinophilia: ads even in sino-burbia?

This is new. The washroom wall is comfortable housing ads in craptastic places like Boston Pizzas and gin-soaked bars and pubs in Markham, but a Chinese resto? Wowza.

never say "no comment"

McDonald's pulled a PR faux-pas when its main PR guy said the company "does not wish to discuss the matter in the media" when asked about its plans for buying the land beneath its Bloor and Avenue location. That answer is not only arrogant, it's secretive. It also allows people to make up rumours and imagine th worst about the company.

Oops, that may be why 3 days after the story broke, the city is already reneging on the plan. Duh.

dell union fizzles

Dell is hocking a new laptop at Union Station plastering the walls of the Go Train lobby and having peeps hand commuters flyers. The problem is: the Dell reps shout "have a chance to win a Dell" and no one wants the flyers. It's not until one rep cleverly changed to "Dell gives you five free movies" did people start taking the flyers. They'll be disappointed.

The five movies are downloads off Bell's new movie store. I thought there was already a movie store online called Bit Torrent.

who needs a gift?

It's another Christmas and this year I am not making a list (except if you're under 18 - of course). No gifts. Nothing of the sort. I wonder if anyone who has a job and has graduated from school actually needs a gift?

I can't think of anything that I want more than just a couple of hours with my friends. Isn't that the meaning of the season? Oh dear, my sap-o-meter is going through the roof. I must go now.

Merry Christmas!

vampire slayer = holiday shopping?

Isn't Christmas (too Christian) holidays (wait, actually "holy days") family (what if people don't have families?) fun (must we have fun?) togetherness (can't discriminate against singles) end-of-year times supposed to be about more than bloodthirsty shopping?

Buffy, sing it!



Best Youtube comment: "(The show is) painfully poignant now, to see how sunny (Buffy) was in the beginning until her life just sucks the life out of her."

wii check 2.0

If you looked back 18 months ago, people were tolling the death bell for Nintendo. The GameCube was a disappointment and the out-of-the-box thinking for the Wii was too weird, too unconventional, too unexpected.

And now on it's 1 year anniversary? Wii is still in short stock. Another reason to go into a Wii-based economy.

One Wii Canada= $270 + 14% tax = $308* CDN
One Wii USA = $250 + 6% tax = $265 US = $268.50 CDN

So 1 Wii Canada = 1.13 Wii USA. I still want an American Wii...

*Again, after Jan 1, 08, I will save $2.70 from 1% of GST cut. A 1% income tax cut would have saved me the equivalent of a whole Wii. Just noting.

duh, what snow?

Over Saturday night and most of Sunday, our city got pummeled with snow, rain and freezing rain. Winter should really learn to be fashionably late and arrive on Christmas Eve. Snow removal in Toronto is always at least two hours later than you need it.

Case in point: Sunday 1 am coming from the airport the road were nicely layered with snow and cars desperately drove in a line on the grooves created from previous cars - just like kids that step in adult footprints in the snow to get by faster. On the radio, the spokesman noted that salters would be out first, then plows if necessary. 10 cm of estimated snow and "plows if necessary"? It's like saying, "For Christmas dinner, we'll be having cranberry sauce and stuffing, but the turkey will be nearby if necessary." You'd think doing this year in, year out would make things better?

However, if we look at Toronto drivers, it might make sense. Year after year, we get snow and freezing rain and black ice and still there are what-me-worry idiots racing down the highways. Are Torontonains just in a rush and willing to risk the black ice or are they morons who can't understand ice = slippery? What's better? Being a fool or an idiot?

We have laws against drunk driving, but how about in situations like this? The worst thing is they'll be caught for sure once they slide out of control and take out a few innocent people = and by then, it's too late.

social media giant done in by its users

Facebook hit a major faux-pas when it believed it could use its users' informations for revenue purposes. (See previous post here.)

The Star reports that after users got wind of the program, named Beacon, they signed an online petition that has changed Facebook's mind.

That was quick. And there is the power of social media.

playing catch-up

Global ran a broadcast either last night or the one before looking at data rates. The Globe ran one two weeks ago.

Good to see old media catching up to new media outrage. (I wrote about it Nov 6th. Ta!)

because you can never buy enough

From the Globe and Mail:

But Facebook had an even better idea. Whenever users make purchases at selected partner sites, such as Amazon.com, the plan is to give them the option of broadcasting this news to their entire group of friends via the Facebook's newswire of inanity. And while I haven't coerced this feature into action yet, my Facebook friends may soon discover that, “Ivor has purchased Natural Goat Care from Amazon.com.”

Are we getting to know too many useless details about our friends through Facebook? And are we getting too comfortable giving out so much information about our lives? At least now I can roll my eyes (even more) when my friends tell me they're broke. Ahem, now, I know exactly how come.

Ironically, I got this off my friend Robyn through Facebook. Apparently she reads the Globe.

who does it better?

gwen loves the toronto pout

Formula for Gwen's new videos: dour face + dramatic make-up = 0 creativity.

Check out her latest video for "Early Winter" and compare to "4 in the Snoring Morning." Gwen, stop selling HP crap and get some new ideas. Fergie's latest vid is killin' it. When did you become the primary Gwen clone? (Also, is she copying Mariah in this video? Ick.)





PS. Universal Music Group, why disallow video embedding? Youtube is video sharing, so share. Duh.

cheer up your friday

This song is glory, glory, glory. Pout begone!

you can't see me, but i'm pouting at you as i type.

Pout, pout, pout.

Taking the subway is an excellent way to see the Toronto pout. Not to be confused with the Commuter frown, the Toronto pout stems from a high amount of vanity, a pinch of contempt mixed with, well, being a robot.

The Toronto pout is different from the Montreal pout in that Montrealers seem amused by your presence, while Torontonians try to block your existence out completely. (Vancouverite pouts... wait, do Vancouverites pout? Maybe only when they're being compared to Toronto.)

I'm not sure where the pout sprouts from (excess viewing of America's Next Top Model?) but it, like advertising, has overrun the city. It's no wonder that people assume the city is unfriendly. Is it because everyone in the city is too busy? Occupied with thoughts of iPhones and Cavalli leopard print undies? Or maybe everyone's pouting because of the rent and cost of living in the city?

Whatever it is, to quote Heidi Klum, it's time for the Toronto pout to be auf. Save it for the runway, not the subway.

torontoist tells you about the rom scare

There's some very good, comprehensive posts on the ROM scare over at Torontoist. Even if it was just an art project, isn't it normal to make noise BEFORE the art project to drum up some buzz? It's not very arty to just scare the crap out of people. Who does he think he is? The WSIB?

rom under bomb threat

The ROM is under a bomb threat. Police are asking patrons at restaurants on Bloor to exit through the back. MORE

UPDATE: Situation well covered at Torontoist by David Topping.

toronto, i love you?

The Star reports that Toronto's answer to Paris, Je T'aime will arrive next year. The filmmakers of Toronto Stories hopes to complete the collection of shorts for TIFF '08. I'm interested in what they end up with. Toronto definitely has the multiculturalism and class mix for "segments" in the film, but what will make each story distinctly Torontonian? Also, Paris, Je T'aime had masters creating shorts and the results were mixed. Will homegrown talent work it better?

this hurts my brain

The Star is reporting that grade 7 and 8 students find homework too hard.

On one hand, the amount of homework being piled on students is ridiculous. Even grade 2s are facing hours in front of work. I'm not sure if this instills any more work ethic than a regular dish-washing and chores schedule. On the other hand, as we become more and more specialized and technical in our industries, there is a lot of background information that is required as a foundation for jobs.

Is our education system too old? Does it need to change it up? Or do students need to stop going on Facebook and do some work?

far coast closing

Far Coast, the experimental café owned by Coca-Cola is closing. A flagship store located near Bay and Bloor will shut down November 30th. No reason was given although the concept store was initially intend to promote Coca-Cola's coffee pod system. Coca-Cola hoped the system would catch on and expand its reach in beverages. The Far Coast products will still be served at the Varsity Cinema.

I wonder if lack of business killed the store. Torontonians won't even support an independent café backed by a giant corporation. How duo-gamous to the Bucks and the Cup.

No word on what will take Far Coast's place.

enchanted, well, enchanted

Enchanted took the weekend box office with $50M over 5 days. Even better news? Nikke Finke reports that a writer's strike deal might be in place. Now that really is Enchanted.

One question though: why is Enchanted only playing at the Rainbow Cinemas Market Square and the Paramount Scotiabank Theatre? I know, I know, the Carlton plays queer and quirky, off-centre films, the Cumberland plays foreign and critically acclaimed independent films and the Varsity plays the commercial award-winners and sobfests (read: August Rush), so that leaves the mainstream boombastic Scotiabank and Market Square.

I still think this one belongs at the Varsity. It's got singing and it's homo-riffic, shouldn't the theatre that showed Dreamgirls, Chicago and Hairspray be welcoming it with well-manicured hands?

victor's finds, part II

I hate/love telemarketers. Collectively, they are leeches that go from mild nuisances to annoying things that must be burnt off. Individually, though, they are just people trying to do their jobs. Still, I find more and more telemarketers are becoming defensive and hostile in response to the people hating them. That, alas, only makes us, the people, hate them more. Ah, the circle of life.

Victor passes on the best telemarketer crank call ever. Enjoy.

gala statsdown

The telly has been overtaken by charity event ads from singers Nelly Furtado and Chantal Kreviazuk. Nelly is part of "It's Always Something" for Gilda's Club, while Chantal performs for the "One Wish" gala for Make a Wish.

Of course, both events are for great causes. Still, we wanted to see how the two Canadian powerhouses stack up.

So which chanteuse wins this Statsdown?

	Nelly	Chantal
Toronto shout-outs (based on Myspace blog entries)	0	8	Neither was born in Toronto (Nelly was born in Victoria, Chantal in the Peg), but both have a home in Toronto and abroad (Nelly in Portugal, Chantal in Malibu). However, Chantal name-checks Toronto in 8 of her Myspace blog entries while Nelly has a nasty 0. What's up with that? WINNER: Chantal
Torontoist mentions	17	17	Wowza. I wasn't actually expecting this many. And a prime number too. Spooky. WINNER: Tie
Facebook worship	319	15	Torontonians love Facebook. So how many Facebook groups are there in the Toronto-based networks for each of our lovely ladies? Chantal loses out here. She better start poking folks and sending out some free gifts! WINNER: Nelly
Controversy (score out of 10)	0	0	It's a tough call. Both are pretty low-key. Nelly had a silly rumour that she and Steve Nash were a thing when she name-checked him in "Promiscuous." (But who wouldn't want to be an MVP like Steve Nash?) And Chantal flamed Avril over Mrs. Whibley's songwriting abilities, but then quickly backed down and apologized within days. WINNER: None
Statdown Index (Out of 100)	53	37	Now, using my totally non-scientific calculation (giving Facebook an unfortunately hefty weight): Nelly tops our Statdown Index scoring 53 points to Chantal's still-worth 37. Guess people love being Loose over being told Ghost Stories?

rohit's music showcase, edition one

My friend Rohit has excellent taste in music. In fact, it might be so good, it could save your life. Okay, maybe that's a little extreme, but he's in med school, so at least he could save your life. Here are one of his local picks!

BELLADONNAKILLZ

Off Amazon for the album As If:

"It's upbeat, happy, techno, and funny. It's got that sound you hate yourself for loving but can't stop repeating." - Static Beats. Belladonnakillz is one of the most unique artists to grace the electronic music scene in what seems like forever producing an almost unheard-of sound in the current U.S. dance market and with surprising results. "a mix of gabber, drum and bass, and hard rock vocals, given the production sense of a pop god, and then over-tweaked with a monstrous equalization that will send your speakers straight to the repair shop.

Hear "Let U Go" off the album here:



Hot? Not?

victor's finds, part I

Victor is a unique duck. He is super smart, cooks like Ratatouille and has a diverse set of interests. Sending me random clips is one of them:

Victor loves "Whose Line Is It Anyway." You can too, now. (I didn't know what Scenes from a Hat were, but it's where the audience gives suggestions from a hat for the improv actors to perform.)

Enjoy!

bell-ted

So, I called Bell to see what was up with HTC Touch users getting the $7/month unlimited data plan and, wow, service gets worse each time I call.

The Touch and the 6800 are similar except the 6800 has a keyboard attached and the Touch was programmed to use the Mobile Browser. Bell will have you think that the keyboard is the big issue -- that's what makes the 6800 a PDA. However, both phones are Bluetooth-enabled and so a Bluetooth keyboard would render that moot.

The main issue remains this: the Touch can use Bell's mobile browser while the 6800 can't. The problem? The Touch gets the same Internet Explorer as the 6800, and data runs on the EV-DO network regardless of browser so the mobile browser issue is moot as well.

In the end, Bell doesn't want to lose any of its business from corporate accounts. So, they'll make up any excuse to differentiate the two. The best part? I'm now getting lectured when I call.

A technical services guy just told me that my best solution is to sell my 6800 and buy a Touch "if you really want it." But, he warned me I'd have to "pay full retail price and break my contract" and pay the fees associated with that. Then, he proceeded to tell me it was like buying an older car (the 6800) and seeing the newer car (the Touch) and asking to refund my old car for the new one. That was insulting. I'm not asking for a new phone, I just want to pay the same price for a similar feature. Actually, it's like the older car has GPS as does the new one and all I want is to pay the same for GPS as on the new car. Then, the guy told me to go to Rogers and Telus if I'm not happy, but the unlimited data plan was a "privilege" for being with Bell.

Right. It's my privilege to pay you almost $1,000 a year. Next, he tells me to do my homework to see that this is the best plan. Oops, buddy. I did.

Apparently, many customers have been calling Bell angry at the exclusivity of the plan. Bell's official response remains that the Touch doesn't have a keyboard. Some company needs to go back to public relations 101.

My full Torontoist post is up here. Start a conversation there or here.

media fridays

Upcoming: Friday Review the Reviews and two new features: Music TO by my friend Rohit and Victor's Space, little oddities from my friend Victor. Watch for it!

bell getting scared?

Bell has announced a $7 unlimited data plan for the HTC Touch and it is spinning madly why the Touch gets a $7 plan, while Blackberrys and other Smartphones pay nearly 10x more. Let's face facts, Bell is scared about the iPhone and making a pre-emptive play. But it won't win any customers with this Jekyll and Hyde play.

I already complained about this here and here.

More details to come.

boys in neverland - august rush review

"August Rush" is about an orphaned boy (Freddie Highmore) who is a musical genius and tries to find his separated parents (Louis and Lila) through the power of music. He believes his keen sense of music will lead him to his parents, who are both skilled musicians. (Musical talent is apparently genetic.)

In a prologue, Louis (Jonathan Rhys Meyers), a rocker vocalist, meets Lila (Keri Russell), a Juillard cellist, and they fall in love over a single night. Louis and Lila become separated, but Louis doesn't know that Lila is pregnant and the baby is given to an orphanage without Lila's knowledge by her manipulative father.

August, now almost 11, escapes from his orphanage (after meeting a social worker played by Terrence Howard) and ventures into New York City to find his parents. By using his musical talent, he hopes to reunite with his parents which is his life long dream.

The film has as its basis that being talented (read: good) will bring about good things: the reconciliation with your parents, their rekindled love for each other, the meritocracy of genius. The problem is, the film wants you to be so taken by August that it never sets any obstacles for him. For example, he arrives in New York City and immediately finds shelter and food. His musical talent is never disputed. While many in life see success as a hard climb up, his ascension to fame and glory is an elevator ride, all doe-eyed to the top. To make sure you love August and root for him, the film spends a good time on demonstrating his musical talents. He rocks out to a guitar, even though he's never touched one before. He writes arias minutes (complete with ties and sixteenth rests) after learning the common acronym FACE used for the bottom space notes on sheet music. He succeeds so quickly that it becomes a checklist: escape orphanage, find refuge, learn piano, go to Juillard, write a masterpiece, meet parents.

In following August's journey, poor Lila and Louis are left scrambling to catch up in their stories. Their stories are flat and typical because of two reasons. First, their stories also have no consequences: they leave jobs, they move cities, they change their whole lives - and none of it matters. The world doesn't actually exist in August Rush, just backdrops. Second, they're looking for different things. She is looking for her son. He is looking for her. (Louis never knowing that he has a son until the final frame is a glaring error) Because they actually aren't looking for each other, the story partly fizzles. If only they had found each other first, then went on to look for the son, that would have been powerful. Also, their love is pretty flimsy to begin with since it only went over one night (even Romeo and Juliet gave it a couple of meetings - and they killed themselves). But I have a feeling the story pans out this way because it avoids conflict (how does Louis feel about a son he never knew about? is he still mad that she left him? will they still like each other after a decade?) and the writers want to avoid conflict at all costs. (This is what makes this film a gross feel-good film: a Pizza Pop.)

It's the kind of emotional dullness in the film that is most surprising. It only wants you to feel-good, but it forgets that sometimes the happiest moments come from the saddest moments because we can appreciate them. And the film even misses the happiest moments. The film ends with both parents looking up at their exalted son (wait, is this some kind of Bible thing I don't get?) and then the film fades to black. WHAT? They don't even hug or kiss or play music together? They just stare at each other? Where is the catharsis?. I want to see family stuff. Why did I spend almost two hours if they don't even have a meal together or something?

The actors pull off their roles with dignity, although I wish they were in a better film. They will, likely, be in a successful film though. Although "August Rush" is completely implausible and ridiculous, it's bound to be a hit because it tugs so hard at the heartstrings.

"Lars and the Real Girl" later. And why they are similar.

feel-good films

There are two kinds of feel-good movies. The difference usually comes at the end of the movies as you walk out the door. The good feel-good movies leave a warmth in your heart and tears in your eyes as you walk out into a world that isn't anything like the movie, but you wish it was. The other kind, the gross feel-good movies leave a knot in your stomach and a frown on your face as you walk out feeling cheated, knowing the world in the movie doesn't exist anywhere, and never will.

Often, people who come out of such movies either grumble about how unrealistic it was, while some will excuse themselves with "it's just a movie." The problem is that every movie has to have a logic of its own, similar to have games must have rules. Gross feel-good films don't bother with rules, but instead, just has everyone win regardless. It "feels good" because everyone wins, but by not setting up a framework for why and how everyone wins, the wins are meaningless. Imagine Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader decided to become friends and shared tea over a game of backgammon. Or Indiana Jones had treasures handed to him along with a ticket back to the States. Or the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park decided to go back into their cages, mend the fences and wait until electricity came on. In all three cases, the good guys would "win," but so what?

It's a matter of quality. It's not bad to like a gross feel-good movie, but it is bad to suggest it's the same as a good feel-good movie. It's the difference between a Pizza Pop and a homemade pizza. A Pizza Pop is fast and cheap, but it's not an authentic pizza. I saw two films recently, August Rush and Lars and the Real Girl, one is a Pizza Pop and the other a pizza. Guess which is which?

isn't belinda stronach one smart cookie?

Belinda Stronach is back in the news. This time promoting women's awareness for cancer. Stronach has spoken to CBC and a bunch of other outlets trying to get women to get screened more often and get more funding for cancer treatment. And so, Belinda stays one step ahead of the haters again. Now try and attack me, she scoffs at the Conservatives.

After entering politics when no one thought she would make it, crossing sides when everyone thought it was political suicide (and breaking poor Peter Mackay's heart in the process), Belinda Stronach has re-emerged as a health spokeswoman after having had surgery for cancer.

This woman is like the Madonna of Canadian politics.

I'm not sure how far Belinda would have made it in politics regardless (although she was the most visible female politician since Sheila Copps, I think), but with her craftiness for re-invention, don't be surprised if after a few more years, she pops back in.

See her video interview with the CBC.

(I know I should have posted Belinda's picture, but this hang-dog pic of Mackay is just much, much funnier.)

new torontoist post on maple leaf gardens!

A new post for Torontoist has gone live!

If you've wondered what has been going on with the Maple Leaf Gardens, I have an update for you! The Gardens turned 76 last week, and sadly, things don't seem that different from when it turned 75. What does new owner Loblaw have to say about it? I called and got an answer...

Also, my editor found an amazing archival shot of the Gardens. It's a pretty amazing part of Toronto history. Check it and the article out here.

here we go again

By now, you may have heard of the two labs that have successfully used human cells to create "stem-cell-like" results. The Wisconsin group used foreskin cells (which is fairly common: a lot of skin-healing products are made of neonatal foreskin cells) while the Kyoto group used skin cells. By mixing the cells with 4 - 6 genes, the cells could then be transformed into heart or brain cells. (Read more about it here and here.)

Although the success is well-worth congratulating, there is the looming question of the politics of science. Will people twist this result into an excuse for stopping embryonic stem cell work for good? The problem is that any scientific technique, especially one that requires genetics and viral components, needs to be studied and tested many, many times over before it can be used. In addition, the limitations haven't been discussed yet and with no animal studies or long-term studies done, stopping all other stem research would be imprudent. (Similarly, after the discovery of embryonic stem cells, work with adult stem cells didn't end. And for good reason - science requires people looking at every possible pathway, because so few end up being usable in the end.)

Until more groups replicate these results and put them through more stringent testing, the best I can hope is that this news encourages more people to learn about stem cells so they can have informed opinions.

are you linked in?

LinkedIn is a business networking site, opposed to Facebook, which is a see-if-your-old-friends-got-fat site.

As I imported my webmail contacts, I was surprised how few of my friends were on the site. Granted, not that many are looking for jobs, and with an overwhelming number of researchers and graduate students as friends, business networking on the surface seems less necessary. (Academia has a very set path and it's rare to start networking until after your PhD - and need a job.)

I think that should change. Academia is exactly where networking needs to start much earlier. This way, students with similar research projects can know what each other are doing, obtain help easier and to learn about leading researchers in the field.

Academia seems like the place where this can happen naturally, but with the busy work schedules of graduate students and the need to stay in proximity to their experiments, I don't believe online networking has been taken advantage like it could be.

oh, really?

I'm sure while walking the streets you've noticed the many, many canvassers for Sick Kids out in pairs holding black binders with the Sick Kids logo on the front. Some people look away when walking past, others suddenly go deaf.

I smile and politely tell them that I already donate monthly. Normally, I get a "that's awesome!" or a "right on!" which feels good, because it's a confirmation that I'm doing a good thing. And Sick Kids is a great cause.

The other day, though, as I walked along Bloor, a dirty-haired canvasser looked my way and I told him that I donate, and he got in my face and snarled "oh, really?"

Yes, really. I'm guessing he's the exception to the majority, but with Christmas time upon us, I smell an increase in quota desperation coming...

saturday night live, like in your face

Where is my Canadian version? Where? Where!?

To help staffers who got laid off due to the writer's strike, the SNL cast raised funds by putting on a live show. And it sounds pretty funny too, compared to what goes on air. Where's the R-rated SNL? Can't they put it on the 'Net? (Which makes zero, zero, zero, zero, zero, zero, zero, zero dollars! With a one in front! - Fred Armisen)

the strike in biz terms

I respect James Surowiecki of the New Yorker. I think his business columns are smart. I'm not too keen on this article though about the strike in the November 19 issue of the New Yorker.

He makes an interesting point that striking is a way for one side to determine if the other is bluffing about their stance. That is, if the other side folds in after a strike, their position was never very strong, and thus, likely bluffing.

Then, however, he includes an article about a bias against fairness. His specific example is that people will not accept a portion of free money if they do not believe it is large enough a share. His stance is that because it's free, anything is better than nothing. However, the question of value comes into play. The writers are performing a job and are asking for fair compensation. They are receiving zero residuals for the internet and new media.

So, to put it into Surowiecki's example, the writers are refusing to get nothing, even if it's free, because it's not large enough a share.

When there's a balance sheet that can be verified by an independent source that internet and new media results in zero profits, I think that's when it's fair to ask the writers to not strike.

cell phone follies

The CBC has a whole section devoted to cell phone fees and confusion. Of course, the CBC's influence? Not a whole lot unless you're the Lottery Corporation.

tasha rejected?!

Things are looking poorly for the Jai and the City Toronto Tasha Kheiriddin View Canada Edition Awareness Right Write Pro Am Type for the Cure.

Wikipedia has rejected my application for an entry for Tasha Kheiriddin. Say what?!

The lame excuse?

This suggestion doesn't sufficiently explain the importance or significance of the subject. See the speedy deletion criteria A7 and/or guidelines on biographies.

Like being one of Maclean's 50 is not enough? (Where she was called: "one of Canada’s leading young right-of-centre thinkers and activists.") Or having written a book that Amazon has only one copy left of? Or being a lecturer at McGill? Come on!

So what exactly did Wikipedia let in? An entry for a bug. And there's only one line on it. Excuse me, but Tasha Kheiriddin is better than a bug. Especially, a stick insect. Why should we support a bug that is too lazy to even create a unique appearance?

Who does Tasha Kheiriddin look like? No one but herself.

Oh, Wikipedia, you will not stop my quest for View: Canadian Edition.

august rush tix

So, a few weeks back I got tickets to see August Rush for free.

And I still came out disappointed.

The actors (including pretty boy Jonathan Rhys Meyers, pictured, as Louis in the film) try their hardest to make it work, but the story works against them.

A full review coming up later, coupled with one for "Lars and the Real Girl." Find out what an orphaned musical genius and a shut-in who imagines a sex doll as his girlfriend have in common.

For now: I went on Saturday to see a film at the Varsity and the sneak peek of "Rush" sold out. Incredible. Although, from my guess, it was mostly older white couples, no doubt following "Rush" with a midnight showing of Beowulf.

david letterman pays his staff

Although his writers are on strike, David Letterman continues to pay his staff. We don't even have hosts on our late night.

Dave 1, WGA 1, Canadian late-night television, 0.

friday movie reviews

From the National Post, Vanessa Farquharson gives this amazing sentence in her review of "Love in the Time of Cholera":

Granted, it's probably not an easy feat to take the renowned author's unrestrained, melodic prose and translate it into something that sounds even remotely normal when coming out of a person's mouth -- take, for instance, the narrative line about the "deadly, choking embrace of cholera: She grabs hold, she lets go, she grabs hold, she lets go."

Dashes, a colon and quotation marks! It's not actually that bad a sentence compared to last week's joyride, but still:

Translation: Magical realism is hard to write dialogue for.

Lacking in snark, no? I know. I must be tired this week.

adverToronto: future shop edition

UPDATE (Nov 19, 07): See the high quality video up at Torontoist.com (around 10:30 am EST)!

BREAKING: Future Shop Dundas and Yonge just opened and instead of a live greeter, they have a creepy electronic projection instead. I only managed to get crappy phone vid (sorry!) of it below, but once I get a better quality video, expect me to put up a full post...



As a shopper, I'd either ignore it or be annoyed by it. I hate real greeters, why wouldn't I hate electronic ones. And it better not know my name. What do you think?

torontoist post up!

My first post for Torontoist is up! I wrote about the relationship between self-control and how our brain works. It's in a Toronto-based blog because part of the research is done by an associate professor at U of T.


Torontoist covers a lot of current events, arts and local happenings, and I thought a spotlight on the science and health progress made in Toronto would complement the blog well.

The post you see actually went through four different official drafts and countless tweaks as the language and structure in a science posting have to be clear and free of jargon (and it took me a couple of tries). Thankfully, the Torontoist editors were very patient with me.

Anyhow, check it out here. You can expect 1 - 2 posts from me a week! Groovy, no?

ding ding ding. the office is done.

No more new eps of the Office. Great.

Now I'll have to watch the Quebecois version.

must stop noinfoism

So, recently, I espoused on the merits of Tasha Kheiriddin for a Canadian version of the View. Tasha (or someone posting as Tasha) kindly left me a comment with an update on where she's at and how she'd fit into the View: Canada Edition. (And I think she has proven she can be funny!)

Tasha Kheiriddin said...

Hey Jai, hope you are enjoying my former home (Toronto) - I have since moved back to Montreal where I am the director of the Fraser Institute's new office and teach a course on conservatism at McGill University. So I guess I still qualify as a conservative yup-ette for the purposes of the View From Canada. I can be funny for an extra fee. Thanks BTW for buying our book, bonus if you read the whole thing!

cheers,

Tasha

Now, I didn't actually finish the book, but I didn't finish Harry Potter 6 either, so what can I say?

There are only two problems with my quest for a Canadian View.

First, this is CTV, so unless it's a show hosted by Regis Philbin, they aren't willing to make a Canadian spin-off. (Unlike, Global, that will spin... off... anything.)

Second, besides her author's blurb and an updated Maclean's profile, her online profile is small-ish.

So, because I already spent whole minutes planning out the View: Canada Edition here and here, I've decided to start the Jai and the City Toronto Tasha Kheiriddin View Canada Edition Awareness Right Write Pro Am Type for the Cure to rectify the noinfoism that afflicts so many Canadians. Step uno: create Tasha's Wikipedia entry. (See it here.)

I hope this worthy cause catches on.

Photo by Pretty Petals off Flickr.

tis the time for turducken

This Thursday, Southern Accent offers turducken, a cajun offering which has a deboned chicken stuffed into a deboned duck stuffed into a turkey. It comes with stuffing and the normal Thanksgiving foods.

I tried this last year and liked it, except that the turkey ends up fairly dry, because it acts as a shell for the other two meats. It's a heavy dish and tasty as it is, the price and the guilt factor of eating three animals at once makes this a "once-in-a-while" event for me.

I've tried to imagine a vegetarian version of potatoes stuffed in tomatoes stuffed in eggplants (a "pomeggplant?") but have yet to try making it.

cbc has good taste

The CBC may not have any luck getting their original shows to stick like CTV's Corner Gas (but then again, neither has Global), but they have great taste in the US shows they pick up (written by awesome writers, by the way).

Besides playing "The Simpsons" nine times a day, there's also BBC's "Doctor Who," and Fox's canceled but brilliant "Wonderfalls" and "Arrested Development."

Their website though could use some work. (The links don't always connect.)

swap lulu for ht?

With beloved retailer Lululemon in some heat over unproved claims for their clothing, it might be time for Torontonians to pick another darling from out west.

HTNaturals looks like a good replacement with its fabrics made of soy, bamboo, organic cotton, recycled plastic bottles (!) and hemp.

The clothes are smart basics, sort of like American Apparel, but with more earth-friendly materials and a less smarmy management. (I'm not sure what I think of the model to the right though. Is she smiling because she feels that good about being more green?) You can check out more styles at their shop online or at Grassroots in-town.

I'm not sure if green clothes will catch on with trendier-than-thou Lululemonites, but one can only hope. I like the company enough to invest in it, with my favourite part being that HT in HTNaturals stands for "hemptown." Looks like the stoner do-gooders of the 90's are starting to actually do some good.

the view: canada edition, part ii

Continued from Part I here.

Afro-North American Woman
Duties include: Being Afro-North American. That's about it. Anything else is a bonus.
Experience: Fulfilling both parts of the Afro-North American title.
American counterparts: Star Jones, Sherri Shepherd (incumbent)
Canadian counterpart: Michaelle Jean? She was an 'inspired choice' for Governor General (what does that mean exactly?) and she could be worldly, informed and opinionated. Also, she'd be afro-carib-north american. Take that! Otherwise, Perdita Felicien can take over.

Right-Wing Yup-ette (Formerly "Young, Cute and There")
Duties include: Looking cute, while being shrill and right-wing, having babies, crying.
Experience: Reality TV, marrying a millionaire sports star.
American counterparts: Debbie Matenopoulos, Lisa Ling, Elizabeth Hasselbeck*** (incumbent)
Canadian counterpart: My pick here for Right-Wing Yup-ette is Tasha Kheiriddin. And that's only because I bought a book she co-wrote. I really don't know any other young right-wingers. Or, heck, much about Tasha. There is no biographical information on her. I'm guessing she's about 32-33 since she graduated from undergrad in the early 90's and she works currently as head of the Ontario branch of Canadian Taxpayers Association (wow, that's as broad as the Canadian Breathe Air Association). But she doesn't have a bio anywhere on Google.**** Whatever.

Lastly:

Veteran Newscaster/Mother Hen
Duties include: Pretending to be down-to-earth, but not, unable to take a joke about the show, reminiscing constantly about the old days at the studio.
Experience: Being in TV for a long, long time.
American counterparts: Barbara Walters
Canadian counterpart: My pick here is either Jan Tennant or Denise Bombardier. Both are before my time and CBC veterans, but neither have Gemini Night Specials nor have Fascinating People lists, so bleh. Ms. Bombardier has been accused for being homophobic, which would be funny since "the View" is the gayest show besides Ugly Betty. So let's choose her.

Phew. That was tough. And not really worth the time spent, but whatever. I would actually watch this show for Luba, though I'd have to see if Tasha has a sense of humour. Would you watch this?

***- You have to hand it to Elizabeth: she changed a boring blah spot on the panel into a sharply re-defined category. If it was still just "young, cute and there," I'd tap one of a bazillion actresses off Global and CTV's no-budget soap dramas.
**** - What is with Canada? Can we not afford websites for people here? There's an entry in Wikipedia for Adam, her co-writer for her book, but none for her. I won't even speculate why that is.

britney dance without brit bombing

Here is the original choreography for Brit's botched comeback. It coulda woulda shoulda been amazing. Hot, no?



Now which bitter dance queen posted this to Youtube?

sante!

We don't eat very well. Fibre intake is well below what is required and salt and fat intake are through the roof. I've decided I have to help.

Our family is started drinking V8 to help add to our daily portions of vegetables, but V8 alone isn't very stimulating. Instead, I suggest an addition of a ninth vegetable: potato.

Yes, nothing like a shot of vodka in your V8 makes the day better. Add some Worcestershire sauce and some hot sauce and you have got a healthy decent drink. Throw in some soluble fibre and I can't understand why this miracle drink hasn't been marketed already!

fancy word, less fancy lights

The "Cavalcade of Lights" is coming to Toronto starting November 24 and runs until New Year's Eve. The event, like Nuit Blanche, is sponsored by Scotiabank - who evidently are trying to become the new Rogers in terms of sponsorship.

(But will we ever see the Scotiabank Michael Scott’s Dunder Mifflin Scranton Meredith Palmer Memorial Celebrity Rabies Awareness Pro-Am Fun Run Race For The Cure? - And no, I won't be providing a link, because NBC Universal wouldn't like that, because the internet is something people can't make money off of.)

Already, lights are being put up in Little Italy and the Gaybourhood. And I have to say, I'm not impressed.

Maybe it's only temp lights with more extravagant stuff going up later, but to the right, you'll see the band of blue lights that are in the Village.

What? This is the best Church and Wellesley can come up with? Have a naughty Santa or some crazy flamboyant gift box! But a beam of blue?

Wow, this looks to be as big a letdown as Nuit Blanche.

a make good attack

Okay, I'm like the South Park guys. I like to take them all on. I love this quote of theirs from an IGN interview:

But we didn't want to be hypocrites. We always say, 'Hey, it's all okay to make fun of, or none of it is. Everything has got to be okay.'

So, to balance my continuing GST cut attacks (oh, here, here, here and here), I have to announce my dismay at Stephane Dion with this bone-headed musing of raising the GST.

Never, ever tell people you are raising the GST. It's like telling people they can't have their Oprah or their sports. True, watching on your couch Oprah saving people or other people getting exercise is kind of pointless, but you don't tell people that! Let them be happy.

Some people are happy to see a GST reduction every time they make a purchase, even if it's less than they would save as a lump sum with a personal income tax. (Not me, but some.)

Instead, run a campaign saying you want to give each Canadian $200 next Christmas (or holidays, or whatever safe term you can use now). Say you are swapping the 1% gst cut for a 1% income tax cut and next Christmas, every person will get back an average of $200 more than by a GST tax. That's $200 to put away for their children, or save for a rainy day, or spend on gifts.

Then, hit them with the figure that they'd have to buy $20,000 more of goods to get the same amount back with a GST cut. That's only 60 lattes a day. Or 400 pairs of jeans a year. Or 100 plasma TVs. Ask if they can really afford this tax cut?

Or something like that. Right?